Monday, January 31, 2005

Cosby Cops a Feel

I guess it was bound to happen but damn Bill. Otro vez?:
Following Bill Cosby’s voluntary meeting with investigators last week probing allegations of “inappropriate fondling” brought by a Canadian woman, both ABC News and “Celebrity Justice” have confirmed reports that the comedian has admitted to having sexual contact with his accuser, but that it was entirely consensual.

“We're told that Cosby, who has become a controversial figure lately due to his stern lectures on African American family values, characterized the sexual encounter as ‘not intercourse,’ and that it involved primarily touching,” reports “CJ.”

Sources also tell the show that the woman contacted Cosby months after the encounter asking him for tickets for her and her family to his performance at Casinorama, north of Toronto. According to “CJ,” Cosby obliged, leaving their tickets at the Will Call window.

As previously reported, the woman worked for the Temple University women's basketball team at the time of the incident. Her lawyers tell "CJ" that Cosby gave the woman what she believed to be "herbal" pills of some sort and that she was "legally incapacitated" when she says Cosby fondled her at his mansion in suburban Philadelphia. (EurWeb)


Sunday, January 30, 2005

Iraqis Discover Purple


What Color is Your Democracy?

Hot 97 Protest Pic


Damn that's funny

This lovely pic was pulled from the best site from which observe the Hot 97 clusterfuck, Hiphopmusic.com. They also run an interview with one of the guys behind the infamous "Tsunami Song" Todd Lynn.

Baghdad's Best Whorehouse

How's this for a turnabout, a Japanese woman who first ventured to Iraq as a human shield back in the dark ages before the Iraq fiasco, has opened the city's best whorehouse. This from the ASG:
"A Japanese woman called Yukiko Muragishi came to Iraq with her friends to act as a human shield and stayed there when the war had finished. She stayed because, inside Baghdad's Green Zone being protected by the U.S. military, she is running a whorehouse for U.S. servicemen and Iraqi politicians and it has made her very rich. All you Islamic leaders in your palaces in the Green Zone, your prayers are worthless as long as American soldiers are playing around in brothels," Shukan Shincho quotes an article listed on the Iraqi Communist Party's website last month.
Yukiko Muragishi, the madam in question has this to say for herself:
"It's true that I did run a massage parlor in the Green Zone from April to September last year. I'm also aware that there were snide rumors about the place being spread. But I want to state emphatically that there were never sexual services offered there. If there had been, the U.S. military would have expelled me," Muragishi tells Shukan Shincho, going on to explain why she opened a massage parlor for American servicemen. "Right after the war ended, I had the chance to talk to loads of American soldiers. Many were traumatized by what they'd had to do. To try and rid themselves of this feeling, they'd try and justify their actions. They often got so wound up with their justifications, you couldn't shut them up. The more I came in contact with American military members, the more I realized they were the victims of war, too. I wanted to do something to help them. The idea I came up with to do so was to provide them with therapeutic massages."
Well there you have it. She did it for the troops . . .

Friday, January 28, 2005

The KKK Between the Tigris and Euphrates

Amid the threats by the Iraq "insurgents" warning against voting in the upcoming election roams the ghost of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK rose out of the ashes of the defeated Confederacy ostensibly to protect the virtue of the white womanhood but of course that was merely shorthand for maintaining the antebellum social order of white privilege. Nevertheless, the parallels between the Klan and Iraq "insurgents" is lost on the talking heads tasked with explaining the situation to an American public, ingornant of even its own tumultuous history.

The Klan was the most successful home grown terrorist organization the United States has ever produced. It reached its pinnacle during the 1920's claiming as its members Supreme Court Justices and U.S. Senators. All of this some sixty years after the South was defeated. The Klans whites only mantra was still potent enough the claim the lives of Medgar Evers and Chaney, Scherner and Goodman at the height of the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960.

All of this is simply to point out that there are Americans who can relate to what the Iraqis are going through; that the stakes for Blacks in post-reconstruction America were similar to those confronting the Iraqis today; that the dark places of hatred and fear that birthed the suicide bombers at one time birthed a legion of crossburners.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Detainees "Gitmo" Than They Bargained For

Bringing a whole new meaning to the word "Gitmo", the AP is first out of the box with the story of sexual interrogations down-Cuba-way all in the name of "National Security":
Female interrogators tried to break Muslim detainees at the U.S. prison camp in Guantanamo Bay by sexual touching, wearing a miniskirt and thong underwear and in one case smearing a Saudi man's face with fake menstrual blood, according to an insider's written account. (AP)
If this is the extent of the interrogations skills that are going to protect us from another terrorist attack, then lemme state from the jump: We are all f*cked beyond belief. The keystone cops are running the show folks.

Statement From WQHT, Annotated

Statement from WQHT-FM, HOT 97

New York City - Miss Jones and the HOT 97 Morning team have been indefinitely suspended for the airing of a song that made light of a catastrophic event, as well as comments made at the time the song was aired. [Translation: Let's pretend this thing never happened. Hey lets play some more Biggie.]

Earlier this week, Miss Jones said on the air "I apologize to all who have been offended by my poor decision to go along with playing that insulting (to say the least) Tsunami song. I should have known better and I didn't. So I'm sorry and hopefully we can move forward from this, or I can move forward from this being a better hostess, because I am better than that, and I know better than that -- and you deserve better radio than that." [ And by move forward you mean get your job back, right?]

While Miss Jones has apologized on the air, in the media and on the HOT 97 website, station management felt that stronger action was necessary to demonstrate the severity of the situation. [Translation: We thought this thing was gonna blow over but when it didn't we realized that the shit had the proverbial fan. We hope this temporary gesture will appease the masses so we can pretend like this never happened.]

Emmis Radio and HOT 97 will not tolerate such derogatory and racially insensitive content. This incident in no way reflects the spirit of HOT 97. The station has a long-time and well-known reputation for community involvement and support. [Unless such content is contained within the hiphop album we are playing.]

Emmis Radio President Rick Cummings said, "What happened is morally and socially indefensible. All involved, myself included, are ashamed and deeply sorry. I know the members of the morning show are truly contrite. They know their actions here are inexcusable." [Translation: These negros got outta hand and we had to put the smackdown on them and let them know who's boss.]

We would like to clarify that no company advertising on our station had any connection to the Tsunami Song and no company advertising on our station endorsed or sponsored the offensive material aired on the "Miss Jones in the Morning" show. We apologize for any misunderstanding that may have caused listeners to believe that anyone, other than the morning show staff, was responsible for the material that should not have been aired. [Translation: Please don't contact our advertisers because now you're fucking with our money and we don't play dat. We are perfectly happy taking money out of DJ's pocket but now you're starting to really piss us off.]

Snipes Denies Crackhouse Love Session

The Crossfader has his fingers (firmly) crossed in the hopes that the allegation that Wesley Snipes knocked up a crack afficionado in a Chicago crackhouse romp is false. According to UPI:
Indiana resident Lanise Pettis, 33, filed a paternity suit claiming Snipes fathered her son in 2000 after a romp in a Chicago crackhouse. Snipes' lawyer, Robert Bernhoft, says Pettis is a delusional former crack addict with a history of making "fantastical" claims.

Snipes' lawsuit alleged Pettis has made similar claims involving Prince, Oprah Winfrey and former President Bill Clinton. But Pettis says she has known Snipes all her life and wants a court to find he is the father of her son.

Of course, this may all just be the much anticipated follow up to Jungle Fever.

Cairo's Baby Mama Drama

In yesterday's NY Times is the fascinating story of Hind el-Hinnawy, an upper-class Egyptian woman who has the nerve to assert that her baby's daddy, a well known religious personality, claim his child.
By filing suit, Ms. Hinnawy did more than just shatter a social taboo. She may well set an Egyptian legal precedent by requesting that the court order Mr. Fishawy to submit to a DNA test to establish whether he is the father of young Leena, born in October with a shock of soft black hair. DNA testing is relatively novel here, never before used to prove paternity in court. (NY Times)
While situations such as these are oldhat to hiphop afficianados, Cairenes, who generally pretend all women are virgins until their wedding night (ha!), are aghast at Ms. el-Hinnawy's refusal to go quietly. The Crossfader applauds Hind's ability to call a spade a spade.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Irv "Gotti" Goes Down

Looks like the end of the road for Murder Inc. head Irv "Gotti" Lorenzo. Though can one hardly be surprised given the fact that Irv Lorenzo opted to use the appellation "Gotti" in his business dealings? From the Associated Press:
Label head Irv “Gotti” Lorenzo and his brother Christopher surrendered to the FBI on money-laundering charges Wednesday as federal prosecutors unsealed an indictment seeking to confiscate all the assets of their label, The Inc.

Their childhood friend, Kenneth “Supreme” McGriff, one of New York’s most notorious drug kingpins, was charged with murder, racketeering and other crimes that prosecutors said were intended to eliminate and intimidate potential witnesses.

He already is in prison on a relatively minor gun charge.

Prosecutors believe McGriff and the Lorenzos funneled hundreds of thousands of dollars in drug profits through The Inc., a chart-topping label owned partly by Island Def Jam, a Universal Music label. A Universal spokesman did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.

Emmis Communications Key Emails

The Crossfader has found the appropriate email addresses for the executive suite at Emmis Communications, the owners of WQHT/Hot 97 and ultimately those responsible for "The Tsumani Song" fiasco. Please email these people as much as possible:
Jeff Smulyan, CEO, Chairman of the Board and President: jsmulyan@emmis.com
Rick Cummings, President of the Radio Division: rcummings@emmis.com

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Sprint Denies "Tsunami Song" Connection

The Crossfader fired off a little missive to Sprint earlier today for their support of the "Miss Jones in the Morning" show on WQHT concerning the "Tsunami Song." Their response is as follows:

Statement From Sprint
* Sprint does NOT have any connection to the Tsunami Song aired on Hot 97 FM.

* Sprint strongly objects to any communication or other effort making light of the devastation of the tsunami disaster. The content of the "Tsunami song" clearly runs contrary to Sprint's commitment to diversity and inclusion, and is not in any way supported or condoned by Sprint. Needless to say, our hearts go out to the tsunami victims and their families -- for this and other reasons, the Sprint Foundation and our associates have worked together since the tsunami tragedy to raise funds
for disaster relief efforts and will continue to do so.

*Sprint has purchased advertising time on Hot 97 but was incorrectly identified as a sponsor of the segment of the show in which the song was referenced. In any case, Sprint was unaware and had no connection to the content of the "Tsunami Song."

*Sprint has expressed our strong concern about this content to the radio station. The station has issued a public apology and appears to have disciplined the responsible parties. Sprint continually evaluates acceptable content against our own guidelines and we will continue to monitor the process with all outlets in which we advertise.

David Brooks, Man-boy Lost in Times Square

Poor David Brooks. He's over there at the NY Times bereft of anything to talk about. The ridiculous socio-political observations are all taken by Thomas Friedman and so Brooks is left to his own devices, flailing about against the limits of his own intelligence. Thus we get this vaguely marxist-eugenic rant that is as equally incoherent as it is wrong. Only someone of Brooks complexion could state:
The United States is a country based on the idea that a person's birth does not determine his or her destiny. Our favorite stories involve immigrants climbing from obscurity to success. Our amazing work ethic is predicated on the assumption that enterprise and effort lead to ascent. "I hold the value of life is to improve one's condition," Lincoln declared. (NYT)
Will someone introduce Mr. Brooks to a Native-American, African-American, or Mexican-American? Toward the end of the piece, the Brooks delusions reach a fever pitch:
Now, the upper class doesn't so much oppress the lower class. It just outperforms it generation after generation. Now the crucial inequality is not only finance capital, it's social capital. Now it is silly to make a distinction between economic policy and social policy. (NYT)
Of course the fact that the upperclass with its access to the mechanism of government power can secure its advantages at the expence of the less fortunate is lost on Brooks. The upperclass are more successful simply because they "perform" better. Is the man high? What the f-

Monday, January 24, 2005

Zimbabwe Calls Rice an Oreo

Taking time out of their 20yr plan to return Zimbabwe to the stone age, Zimbabwe's state run Herald "newspaper" offered this little nugget on Condi Rice:
"She is a black woman who will be manly and white in her relentless assault on blacks, their liberties and their remnant and dwindling sovereignties. She will be a black who washes away the sins of white power as it bludgeons non-white states." (AfricaLog.com)
Having the misfortune of living long past his usefulness, Mr. Mugabe and his loyal band of sycophants have resigned themselves to appearing as ridiculous as possible.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Thomas Friedman, American Dumbass

Ah, yet another useless Thomas Friedman oped. Um, let' see all European muslims are fundamentalist right? Because apparently those are the only ones listed in the Nutcase Muslim Phonebook that Friedman picked up at Orly Airport. It would have been way too difficult to, uh I dunno, look up the leader of Le Mouvement Ni putes ni soumises because that internet thing is tricky. Instead we get:
I spent Friday morning interviewing two 18-year-old French Muslim girls in the Paris immigrant district of St.-Ouen. (It is about a mile from the school where in March 2003 a French Muslim girl, who had refused the veil and rebuffed the advances of a Muslim boy, was thrown into a garbage can by three Muslim teenagers, who then tossed lighted cigarette butts into the can and closed the lid.)

Both girls I interviewed wore veils and one also wore a full Afghan-like head-to-toe covering; one was of Egyptian parents, the other of Tunisian parents, but both were born and raised in France. What did I learn from them? That they got all their news from Al Jazeera TV, because they did not believe French TV, that the person they admired most in the world was Osama bin Laden, because he was defending Islam, that suicide "martyrdom" was justified because there was no greater glory than dying in defense of Islam, that they saw themselves as Muslims first and French citizens last, and that all their friends felt pretty much the same. (NY Times)

Thanks, Tom, for bringing your usual bag of lazy cliches to an already crowded table.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Shohreh Aghdashloo Sells Out, Smokes Crack*

Having garnered an Oscar nomination for her role as the Iranian matriarch in the "House of Sand and Fog", Shohreh Aghdashloo decided it was time to play a terrorist on Fox's "24" in order to apparently support her nascent crack habit. From the NY Times:
"I was aware of the problem this was going to create for me, an Iranian actress," said Ms. Aghdashloo, who was a star of Iranian cinema before fleeing Tehran for London and then moving in 1987 to Los Angeles. There she and her husband, the playwright Houshang Touzie, created a traveling theater troupe, performing mostly in Farsi for Iranian-American audiences.

"I knew exactly what was going to happen, and it happened," she said. "This is pure fiction, sometimes even cartoonish. It's inspired by events in society, just as James Bond was inspired by the cold war. Did we have Russians demonstrating in the streets saying James Bond is giving us a bad name?"

The Times failed point out that this entire interview was held in a crack induced haze.

*the Crossfader did not actually see Ms. Aghdashloo smoke crack.

Hot 97's Slow Boat to "Chinks"


These Negros Sure Are Funny

In an apparent race to the bottom, New York Hot 97's "Miss Jones in the Morning Show" decided to toss its hat in the ring for the D.W. Griffith's "Excellence in Broadcasting" award with an enlightened skit against the one people silly enough to still do business in the ghetto, you guessed it -- Chinese people. From the NY Post:
Yonkers-based Asian Media Watch accuses the WQHT/Hot 97 "Miss Jones in the Morning" show of "repeated racist attitudes" and demands the program's "elimination."

"The host broadcasts a horrifying song that mocks the dead South Asian tsunami victims, uses the racial slurs 'chink' and 'Chinamen,' and calls the drowning victims 'bitches,' " said AMW director Kai Yu in a letter to Hot 97's John Dimick.

Station-owner Emmis Communications issued an apology late yesterday.

"We apologize to our listeners and to anyone who was offended," Dimick said. "[The show's entire seven-person staff] has agreed to contribute one-week's pay to the tsunami-relief efforts."

Rather than offer some constructive opinion on perhaps the worst catastrophe in the last hundred years, the good people at Hot 97 decided that the best thing to do is to let the negros laugh. Thanks Hot 97. You rock!

Friday, January 21, 2005

Of Integrity and Tego Calderon

Props go to reggaeton superstar Tego Calderon who showed a refreshing bit of self respect when turned down an offer to be affiliate with Sean John's spring collection citing the company's use of sweat shop labor:
“I heard about the human rights violations in his [P. Diddy] clothing factories in Central America, but frankly there was more," Calderon confessed to the New York Post. "Me faltó el respeto, [he dissed me] with his offer. I just did a $75,000 commercial in Puerto Rico with Nydia Caro. Someone like Puffy could have offered more than $2,000 — but again, it wasn't about the money. I was not persuadable. It was about the principle." (AllHipHop.com)
The Crossfader is floored.

Bob Herbert, Pimp

NY Times columnist, Bob Herbert, proves once again why he is the biggest pimp at 229 W. 43rd Street:

Even as President Bush was taking the oath of office and delivering his Inaugural Address beneath the clear, cold skies of Washington, the news wires were churning out stories about the tragic mayhem in Iraq. There is no end in sight to the carnage, which was unleashed nearly two years ago by President Bush's decision to launch this wholly unnecessary war, one of the worst presidential decisions in American history.

Incredibly, with more than 1,360 American troops dead and more than 10,000 wounded, and with scores of thousands of Iraqis dead and wounded, the president never once mentioned the word Iraq in his Inaugural Address. He avoided all but the most general references to the war. Lyndon Johnson used to agonize over the war that unraveled his presidency. Mr. Bush, riding the crest of his re-election wave, seems not to be similarly bothered.


Slavery Apparently JP Morgan's Fault

In a welcome, but also oddly touchy-feely statement, JP Morgan apologizes for its predecessor's involvement in the anti-bellum slave trade. According to the Associated Press:
"The bank, the nation's second largest, said in a statement Thursday that the two Louisiana banks had received thousands of slaves as collateral before the Civil War.

The New York-based bank also apologized for contributing to "a brutal and unjust institution" and said it was setting up a scholarship fund in Louisiana as a way to make amends.

JPMorgan officials said the bank undertook the study after Chicago passed an ordinance in 2003 requiring companies that do business with the city to research their history to determine any links to slavery. Among the companies that have been required to do such research are banks, insurance companies, bond underwriters and other financial vendors."

Warms the heart, don't it?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

50 Falls Off

From the Associated Press:

On the soon-to-be-released "Piggybank," 50 first lets loose on Fat Joe: "You thought "Lean Back" was big in the club / My (album) did 11 mil, your (album) was a dud."

50 goes on to lambaste Interscope labelmate Jadakiss, jailed rapper Shyne and longtime foe Ja Rule before settling on newlyweds Nas and Kelis: "Kelis had her milkshake bring all the boys to the yard / Then Nas goes and tattoos the ... on his arm." (AP)
And thus the Crossfader asks, is any of that called for? Has the "crabs-in-a-barrel" mentality of hiphop gotten so crazy a grown ass man has to prance about on the better part of his album talking smack more appropriate for a 6th grader? Has the Man got hiphop's balls in that much of a vice grip? Is SoundScan the new pimp? Or is 50 simply a day late and a dollar short?

Macy's Parade

The cats at 1115.Org have a nude pic of Macy "I'm still crazy" Gray that may need to be approached with extreme caution. The Crossfader assumes that her performance at the Ball After the Balls tonight will be less, what is the word, ah yes, scary. (Wait, lemme see that pic again)

WaPo Rides Esquire's Jock

I don't know what's going on at the Washington Post, but they should at least assume that some of us have heard of a magazine called Esquire and that maybe, just maybe, some of us may have seen what's inside. But alas no. So we get Peter Finn's piece on the unravelling of Jumana Michael Hanna's story of her torture at the hands of Saddam Hussein; a piece that fails to mention that this info was already covered extensively in Esquire's January issue. 'Sup widdat?

Thomas Friedman Can Kiss My Ass

NY Times columnist Thomas "It's All So Simple" Friedman offers up another one of his limp-dicked opeds today. The Great Mr. Friedman must have pics of Anna Wintour shagging the entire editorial board and is threatening to send them to The Post. How else to explain this flotsam's secure place on the editorial page?

Today Friedman says Iran is (gasp) a "red state." No shit Tommy. Too bad you're too dense to follow the logic of your accidental insight.

Amadou Diallo in Iraq

From the Independent UK:

"It was a routine foot patrol. As we made our way up a broad boulevard, in the distance I could see a car making its way toward us. As a defence against potential car bombs, it is now standard practice for foot patrols to stop oncoming vehicles, particularly after dark.

"We have a car coming," someone called out, as we entered an intersection. We could see the car about 100 metres away. It kept coming; I could hear its engine now, a high whine that sounded more like acceleration than slowing down. It was maybe 50 yards away now. "Stop that car!" someone shouted out, seemingly simultaneously with someone firing what sounded like warning shots - a staccato measured burst.

The car continued coming. And then, perhaps less than a second later, a cacophony of fire, shots rattling off in a chaotic overlapping din. The car entered the intersection on its momentum and still shots were penetrating it and slicing it. Finally the shooting stopped, the car drifted listlessly, clearly no longer being steered, and came to a rest on a kerb. Soldiers began to approach it warily. The sound of children crying came from the car. I walked up to the car and a teenaged girl with her head covered emerged from the back, wailing and gesturing wildly. After her came a boy, tumbling on to the ground from the seat, already leaving a pool of blood."

This is but the latest event in the neverending cluster-fuck that is the Iraq War; of civilians cut down for being in the wrong place at the wrong time in their own country, in their own neighborhoods all because we claim to own not only the oil, but the clocks as well.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Light It Up

From Reuters, Two police officers involved in a videotaped beating of a black teenager that sparked nationwide outrage have been awarded $2.4 million by a Los Angeles jury that found they were unfairly disciplined.

The larger jury award of $1.6 million went to Jeremy Morse who was fired from the Inglewood police force immediately after the 2002 incident in which he was captured on an amateur videotape slamming a 16 year-old onto a squad car and punching him in the jaw after a routine vehicle stop.

Suicidal VW Commercial (but is it real?)

The Crossfader stumbled upon this item from Rooftop Report. It seems there is a VW commercial making the rounds on "the internets" in which a man wearing a kifayya pulls up alongside an outdoor cafe, intending to car bomb it. According to the Rooftop Reports, calls to the VM marketing department have so far proved inconclusive. Stay tuned . . .

[Update: Turns out the ad is false.]

The Game Pimp Slaps Jay-Z (and perhaps NYC)

MC du jour, The Game, whose album dropped yesterday offers up this little nugget for Jay-Z to chew on in "Westside Story": "I don't do button-up shirts or drive Maybachs/All you old record labels trying to advance/Aftermath b*tch take it like a muthaf*ckin' man"

Ouch. Game, why you hay-in?

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

It's Official: Dell CEO on Crack

In probably the most delusional statement to reach the airwaves since Jim Jeffries assured a win against Jack Johnson, Dell Chief Executive Kevin Rollins calls the Apple Ipod phenomenon a "fad" that will "rage then drop off." My advice to Mr. Rollins, don't take out that second mortgage you may be moving.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Mark Thatcher Comes To America

As he waits in England for his visa to emigrate to the U.S., one has to wonder what Mark Thatcher is not thinking about. I would imagine that he is not thinking that the attempted overthrow of Equtorial Guinea amounts to anything more pressing than a clever lead-in to the latest Survivor incarnation. I would image he is not thinking that pleading guilty to the attempted overthrow of a sovereign nation is something that could deny him entry into the United States. I would imagine he is not thinking he has anything in common with the nameless swarm currently held in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for acts not unlike his own. You see they had the misfortune of being born with no pedigree.

No, not our Mr. Thatcher. Dallas awaits him. With his wife and kids and the comfort of knowing that an Englishman in Africa can still aspire to be Cecil Rhodes if only in his mind; that the fault lay not in the deed but in the planning. And when Mr. Thatcher steps out into that warm Dallas air, I can only hope that if just for a brief moment he chokes on it and all the smug self-satisfaction that went into creating him.

Thomas Friedman & the Editorial as Colonic

New York Times self-reflexive proctologist Thomas Friedman has managed to shove his head further up is ass with this latest bit of detritus. Friedman states with a straight face that:

"It is not an exaggeration to say that, if you throw in the Oslo peace process, U.S. foreign policy for the last 15 years has been dominated by an effort to save Muslims - not from tsunamis, but from tyrannies, mostly their own theocratic or autocratic regimes."

Nevermind the fact that Friedman, by focusing on the last 15 years, conveniently forgets the previous 45. Such "creative thinking" is what we come to expect from the Great Mr. Friedman. The problem with nearly everything the man writes lies in his insistence on marrying some trivial aspect of consumer culture with a some aspect of real-politik. It cannot cross his mind that consumers with tastes mimicking his own would have political aspirations diametrically opposed to his. A second problem is that he seems to be allergic to speaking to Arabs on Arab issues. He ends his piece by quoting Iraq "expert" Yitzach Nakash. Good for Mr. Nakash, no doubt, but when is Mr. Friedman going to quote say Rashid Khalidi as expert on Israel?

I think I heard the Greek chorus scream "Never!" but that may just be me . . .

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Weapons of Mass Homoification*

Reuters has a bit about some super secret plan by the Pentagon "to develop an aphordisiac to spur homosexual acitivity among enemy troops." And while you are scratching you head over that one, ask yourself this: Why does the military assume that if you're shagging your comrade you can't fire a surface to air missile?

*I can't claim credit for the title, that belongs to my friend and colleague Kaiser Wahab.

Power 105.1 Puts on the Blackface (or further thoughts on Star & Bucwild)

After a short absence, Star & Bucwild will return to New York tomorrow. This time appearing on the Power 105.1 instead of their former home on Hot 97. Power 105.1 is owned by Clear Channel. You may remember Clear Channel for their patriotic stance against the Dixie Chicks nearly two years ago or, more recently, for their move to get Howard Stern kicked off the air. But one of the little known gems of ClearChannel is its history of racist and bigoted DJ's who always seems to find a home at the company. The much talked about call to India is in keeping with the company's policy of racist, bigotted pranks that are its mainstay. Which makes the Star & Bucwild show all the more amusing for what it does and does not say about hip hop and Black America.

ClearChannel allows these guys to do what they do because it is safe and it allows a certain segment of the African-American community to laugh at the latest cast of non-whites who will in short order outperform us. We can rest assured that Star & Bucwild know who signs their $17M checks. All of which is to say, prank calls to India "good", prank calls questioning the war in Iraq "bad."

It's Official: POTUS is on Crack

The good folks at 1115.Org sum it up best when they say “President George W. Bush: Shut the Fuck Up” in reaction to what is sure to be Exhibits A-Z in the proof that our dear leader has taken leave of his senses. The POTUS says (mid violin concierto):

“We had an accountability moment, and that’s called the 2004 elections,” Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post. “The American people listened to different assessments made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, and chose me.” (from The Washington Post)

That’s funny. I thought the election was about the administration trying to scare us shitless. I’ll have to go back and check my notes.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Beyonce Wants a "Soldier" (Not)

As the Crossfader noted in an earlier post, the dumbing down of hip hop culture continues unabated. While that is to be expected, I supposed, the part I find disingenuous is the attendant hagiography of the "soldier," a descriptive archetype that has found its greatest success in the Beyonce retro side project, Destiny's Child. In short the "soldier" is the road dawg, roughneck brother, who is always ready to, as they say, "ride or die" in other words the "loveable rogue."

I'm not one to knock anyone's hustle, "soldier" or (most likely) not, but the Crossfader can't help but see through the colossal farce that are the lyrics to this song. Regardless of what Ms. Knowles says, a "soldier" is not what she wants and the average street "soldier" wouldn't be able to get within a mile of her bodyguard's bodyguard so why project this image of being some blinged out project chick when she is on record stating:

"I grew up in a very nice house in Houston, went to private school all my life and I've never even been to the 'hood. Not that there's anything wrong with the 'hood, but just to assume that I grew up there because of my color ..." (Interview Magazine)

The effect is to basically say to young Black kids silly enough to stay in school that, unfortunately, that path won't lead you to anyone resembling Beyonce, maybe Condoleeza Rice but there you have it. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world parents are selling everything they own to get their kids into an American school. If it weren't so sad it would be funny.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Mondays with Goebbels, Fox Makes It Easy

Fox Television series "24", or as The Crossfader likes to refer to it, that show where the Feds get to know what's going on, has begun anew with a plotline only a latterday Goebbels could love. Goebbels you will remember was the chief propagandist of the Third Reich. Take away the standard asinine antisemitism (Jews r' bad!), insert alternative asinine antisemitism (Arabs r' terrorists!) and you get the warm and fuzzy, paranoid world of the American psyche.

Of course in TVland you catch all the breaks. In the real world, you get stuck "nation building." And that makes boring television.

Punk'd in Iraq

Islamic militants have responded to President Bush's entreaty to "bring it on" by in fact bringing it on. Reuters reports that a video released yesterday quotes militants as stating "George W. Bush; you have asked us to 'bring it on'. And so help me, (we will) like you never expected. Do you have another challenge?," asked the narrator before the video showed explosions around a U.S. military Humvee vehicle."

Suffice it to say, we've been Punk'd. Unfortunately not in the safe, suburban neo-wigger aesthetic of Ashton Kutcher but in the dirty Ike Turner, street walking, pimp slapped manner of a $2 "crack ho" and Bush the younger could care less.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Mark Thatcher, King of Africa

From Black Looks, the Crossfader notes that The Guardian UK reports that future U.S. resident, Mark Thatcher, son of the Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher, has entered into a plea agreement whereby he will plead guilty to taking part in a thwarted coup in Equitorial Guinea. Fitting with what we've come to (sadly) expect, the punishment for trying to steal a small African country is a mere £300,000.

Upon paying the fine, Mr. Thatcher will be allowed to emigrate to the U.S. to join his family becoming perhaps the first non-Latin American coup artist to call the America home. Welcome. Reports are that Thatcher will be putting together "White Man's Burden" safari tours of Rhodesia and the Congo Free State.

D'Angelo Becomes ODB


ODB Redux

The Crossfader is saddened to learn that Grammy award winning crooner, D'Angelo, has decided to pay a living tribute to the late Ol' Dirty Bastard by morphing into him. The Crossfader's suggestion, just send flowers. For those of you still in shock at this transformation, read this. The Roots' Questlove predicted this Brando-esque turn over a year ago.

Pancho Villa in Babylon

The White House stated that the search for weapons of mass destruction has ended, yielding a total of zero weapons of mass destruction recovered. Thus concludes one of the longest, costliest wild goose chases embarked on by the U.S. government since the hunt for Pancho Villa. The number of Iraqis killed is unknowable, the number Americans killed continues to climb past 1300. The maimed and wounded numbers above 10,000, yet Medals of Freedom hang from the necks of the architects of this spectacular disaster. No doubt there wasn't enough rope.

Meanwhile back home, shades of Nuremberg on the Rio Grande as Charles Graner channeling Joseph Mengele vies for top billing with Brad and Jennifer, begging the obvious question "Who will be the biggest loser?"

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Muslim Humor in The Guardian UK

It has come to the Crossfader's attention that his work was cited in the Guardian yesterday in a piece on muslim humor. The Guardian's Brian Whitaker shamelessly lifted four paragraphs of Abu Fatoush's (aka yours truly) exclusive interview with Satan at a Hell's Kitchen Starbucks that was posted on my friend Ahmed Nassef's website Muslim Wakeup! The Crossfader takes Mr. Whitaker's prodigious sampling as a sign of appreciation of a good joke. Let us hope that the Salafi nutjobs will be in on it too someday.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Tsunamis=Fun; War=Bad

With all the anchormen tripping over themselves to cover the Tsunami, it is easy to forget that in a different time and in a different place these talking heads would actually be covering (gasp) a war. It is also easy to forget that, miracle of miracles, we actually have a real live war that these guys could cover. Only that war kinda sucks and they shoot real bullets.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

One Negro Left Behind


I Can Dance Too

This just in: Armstrong Williams, designated conservative-negro-in-charge, sells his soul for $240,000.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Star & Bucwild Go to India


Massa I's Funny

Recently on Philadelphia Power 99 FM, everyone's favorite shockjocks Star & Bucwild contacted a call center in India to sling a few racial epithets over the airwaves for good measure. I guess it was supposed to be funny. There were people laughing. Then again certain people will find a circumcision funny. That a Black man can make a fool of himself absent any prodding is one of those wonderful discoveries that is, more often than not, just a gangsta rap away. Thus one gets used to the myriad ways in which hip hop culture dumbs itself down long before the "Man" can put a price tag on it.

And so it is that the people I admire in this endeavor are these people at ClearChannel who own Power 99FM (and every other "Black" thing on the radio). I admire them because there is a certain sad beauty in a Black man cracking wise against a call center in India. It is the beauty of a system providing the illusion of rebellion in the face of the diminishing returns of a joke that is ultimately on all of us. That Star & Bucwild don't understand this is hardly surprising. They are merely pawns in a system that bought and sold them long before they had their morning coffee.

Massa good ain't he? And it must be contagious.

Tucker Carlson . . . Dumbass!


The Idiot

Say it isn't so, Tuck. Not you Tuck. God no not you! The most irrelevant 35yr old in the history of television has decided to bestow that irrelevancy upon MSNBC.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Our National ADHD

The news from Iraq refuses to go gently into that good night. In clips of fives, tens and twenties, the nameless (for us) Iraqis die in service to an idea not of their own making, even as we have moved on to Sumatra and other places first introduced to us at our local Starbucks. It's because we like the tsunami images much better. The hero's cloak fits better when the destruction comes without a made in the USA sticker; the manna falls from American helicopters and the villagers don't shoot back. We don't have to pretend that Omaha will be any safer and we can almost forget the non-Starbucks affilliated cities of Falluja, Mosul, and Ramadi. Almost.

Too bad they haven't forgotten about us.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Gulf Arabs to Victims: Eff You, Clean My Toilet


Shame

Showing a chutzpah not seen since the Yanks liberated Kuwait, the Gulf States have once again placed themselves on their golden throne while the world struggles with something found increasingly lacking in Petroville . . . humanity.

With its high number of foreign workers coming from the affected region, one would (wrongly) assume the Gulfies would lift a bit more than a finger but of course that person would be mistaken. Petrodollars can buy you a lot of things, but it seems those Fendi bags don't come with a conscience.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

White Boy Beats Tsunami (oh, and some Ethnic People die too)


I see dead Brown People

Perhaps it is to be expected. Perhaps the global village never was the kumbaya lovefest we all imagined, but the canonization of Hannes Bergstroem as the "face of the tragedy" is a bit much given the mass of humanity who (a) died and (b) didn't have the luxury of being white. While it is difficult to image a brown face to a tragedy involving non-brown people, perhaps the ability to empathize with those on the other side of the globe (without the "white man's burden") may make the lovefest more of a reality and less of a slogan used solely to sell vacation packages in places that much further from Stockholm.