Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Zimbabwe Gets Punked!

Believe it or not, Zimbabwe is having an "election" tomorrow. The Crossfader predicts that Robert "Why Didn't I Die A Long Time Ago" Mugabe will win. Why do I care? I don't know, really. I guess because I'm Black I tend to not like seeing a perfectly good African country flushed down the toilet. But hey I guess they gotta solve their own problems. If any enterprising young Zimbabwean is out there gunning for Mr. Mugabe, to quote the Jimi Hendrix, "shoot him one more time for me." [, ]

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Pope Aint God Y'all

There I said it. I don't give a rat's ass whether the Pope appeared at his window. Who the eff is he? People are lining up at the Vatican like he was the second coming/mahdi himself. The Pope dies, you get a new Pope people that the way it works. It's like Menudo. Get over it.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Who Reissued Timberlake's Ghetto Pass?

MTV has been playing the making of the latest Snoop Dog video and while the song is definitely tight, my question is "Who Reissued Justin Timberlake's Ghetto Pass?" It seems everyone's favorite false-Negro has somehow been rehabilitated from his spineless showing in the aftermath of Janet Jackson's nipplegate. Uh, why? [, ]

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

100 People

Last Friday 100 people showed up to pray on 110th and Amsterdam Avenue in New York. 100 people out of 1,200,000,000 and the world took notice. Imagine if 200 people showed up . . . [, , , ]

Fundi Nutjobs Hack MWU!!!!

My friend Ahmed's seminal website Muslim Wake Up! has been attacked once again by a merry band of Salafi nutjobs. It seems that on the way to paradise, these nuts must take it upon themselves to make our lives that much more worse. One can only image what the world would look like were hell to freeze over and they gained control. If you are a salafi nutjob reading this post, please do me a favor and stick your head in the nearest oven. Thanx.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Bin Laden Group Wins New Airport Projects!!!

Talk about scaring the shit out of, umm, the World . . .

Hina Azam, Idiot? (You bet)

From Hina Azam's "counter argument" to Amina Wadud's history making khutbah:
1) Women may write the Friday khutbas to be delivered by the khatib with proper attribution to the author. In my experience, imams are more than happy to have someone else do the work of putting together the khutba, and the practice of khatibs reading sermons written by others is well-known.

2) Women may deliver public lectures just prior to the khutba. The practice of a public talk between the adhan and the beginning of the khutba is found in much of the Muslim world and is an even more direct way than the above for women to communicate their ideas directly to the congregation. One idea for dual-language communities is that the talk delivered by the woman can be the basis for the khutba, which would essentially be a translation of it.

Of course any idiot can see that the second position negates the first. If a woman can give a speech prior to the khutbah, what is the justification for not hearing her voice during the khutbah? If she can the write it, isn't she in fact preaching? are they her thoughts being transferred?

this is yet another example of a failure to grasp simple logic. Hina, dear, lay off the Jesus juice.

The Shit Storm

Nothing unites Muslims like a good old fashioned Friday prayer that will lead to hell. Organized religion with its insistence on owning a penis before one can truly lead others in worship just got a little bit wackier. The Muslim world in the last two days has been rocked by an African-American woman leading a prayer.

Now just step back for a moment. A woman led a prayer to God and people are callng for her death. Prayer. Death threats. One more time. Prayer . . . Death threats.

If there is a God and he/she/it isn't on the side of Amina Wadud, then I'll take my chances in hell. I hear the drinks are better anyway. Besides I'm Black. How much harder can hell be?

Friday, March 18, 2005

Amina Do Your Thing, Girl

This afternoon, Amina Wadud will lead a mixed prayer at undisclosed location in New York City. It will be one of the few times that a woman will go on record as leading a Friday prayer. This is the Islamic equivalent of Rosa Parks refusing to move to the back of the bus. Ms. Wadud, an African-American Islamic scholar is a pioneer and The Crossfader wishes her great success. [, ]

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Shout Outs

The Crossfader would like to give a special shout out to all those people in Saudi Arabia looking for "Naked Saudi Women" "Saudi Boobs" and "Saudi Vaginas". I'm touched. Really. I know it sucks in your country. I know you're stuck humping the Filipina or Indonesian or Malaysian maid but The Crossfader fortunately is not the place to get your rocks off. Mish keda?

The Crossfader would also like to extend a special "3rd Reich" shout out to all those Americans, Brits, and Canucks who are so ticked off that Heidi Klum married Seal or as your search requests indicate "Heidi Klum and Ni**er Seal" or "Seal Ni**er." I'm sorry Ms. Klum did not return your advances but maybe perhaps she likes Seal better than you and wanted to be with some guy who didn't still live with his mother in a cave, watching you play Civilization twelve hours a day. [, ]

White Woman Tames Negro!

As we move from the media circus of the manhunt to the media circus of the hostage as hero (which lets face it, Ashley Smith saved the not only her life but Brian Nichols' as well) nevertheless I can't help but think of the cliche of why brothers date white women and I crack myself up everytime. I wish I had the patience to write it all out but trust me. It's funny.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Sinn Fein Re-Ups with G-Unit

The Crossfader has been playing catch-up with the news coming out Northern Ireland and the straight-up gangsta pimp slap that the IRA has been throwing down on that little slice of the island. It seems the IRA knifed Robert McCartney outside a bar in broad daylight and miraculously, no one saw anything. The first known case of spontaneous group blindness ever recorded. [, ]

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Marwa Al-Eifa: Saudi Women Are Punk Ass Bitches*

She's Rich, Beeyatch!

A friend sent me this story. Marwa Al-Eifa is a 25 year old woman of Saudi origin who recently won the Dubai Women's International Rally. She's a racecar driver. Now in Saudi where they are busy sticking their heads up their asses, women aren't allowed to drive. So what would you expect a Saudi female racecar driver to say on the subject? Why she'd be against women driving too of course:“
I did not mean to upset Saudi women by those remarks. All I wanted to say was that they should first prove themselves in society and get the appropriate posts that suit their capabilities and ambitions,” she said. This will eventually lead them to being allowed to drive cars,” she added. (Arab News)
Translation: Daddy lets me drive. You bitches need to work harder. [, ,]

*My Dubai attorney advises that I remind people that this is hyperbole.

50 Cent in the Crosshairs

Ouch. Two of New York's high profile lyricists have weighed in on the 50 Cent fracass. Here's the Jadakiss 50 Cent dis track. One word. Hot. Here's Fat Joe's track. (I know the Don hails from the BX but damn, prodigious use of the N-word playa. Slow your roll.) []

Friday, March 11, 2005

Negro On the Run!!!!!!!

Georgia. One Judge down; One white woman slain. One Black man (gasp) on the run. Nothing like the American nightmare coming to life to kick up the paranoia a notch. [, ]

That Nicole Wray Joint Is No Joke

"Can't Get Out the Game" by Nicole Wray with Beani Sigel is like on permanent repeat on my Ipod. If you get a chance get a hold of the Dame Dash's Roc4Life Mixtape. This has got to be one of the hottest tracks on a mixtape full of head nodding beats. []

Uh, Maybe Rape-istan Is Not So Good

So it looks like someone with a brain is at the controls in Pakistan after all. That nuclear country's highest Islamic Court has just tossed the acquittal of five men who were allowed to gang rape a woman for some ridiculous tribal slight, like looking at someone's goat or something. Anyway, the Crossfader welcomes Pakistan into the 21st century.[, , ]

Correction: A reader has rightly pointed out that the woman was sentenced to gang rape by the village elders because her brother was sexually molested by a member of a more powerful tribe and when he said "hey quit shagging me old man", they accused him of having affair with "one of their women." Thus leading us to gang rape-land. So the lesson we take from all this is: In rural Pakistan men shag boys, and when they complain, they gang rape their sisters. Lovely. I assume the goats are safe.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Niger: Slaves? Umm, What Slaves?

From Niger, land o'yellow cake, comes word that slaves, yes slaves, were set to be freed in that backward hell-hole of country when the country's leading human rights spokesperson decided to stick his head up his own ass and declare that there were in fact no slaves in Niger. Now to get your own on special peak at this latest evidence that some parts of Africa are more backward than a one-legged donkey on crack the day before New Years, look no further than here.

Before you cutural relativist get your panties in a bunch, let me just state that I am sick and tired of reading about some whack b.s. coming out of Africa like slavery, raping babies, pulling girls out of school etc.
[, , , ]

Meet the New Boss . . .

Perhaps it says something about the 90 degree vertical climb much of the Arab world needs to scale in order to get anywhere near democratic politics but the Lebanese Prime Minister who famously resigned in the face of the public outpouring following Rafik Hariri's murder has been returned to his post. Sorry folks but the Crossfader has officially declared this party over. You don't have to go home, but you gots to get the hell up outta here. []

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Lebanon: Beauty or the Fat Man

Beauty and the . . .

Well boys and girls, the Party of God (no, not the Republicans, but Hizbollah) has finally weighed in with their merry band of revelers to put in their two cents. The Crossfader has surveyed the scene and offers this Friedman-esque analysis: The struggle in the Levant these days is between people who protest with women on their shoulders and people who protest with fat bearded guys. Lets hope the Lebanese choose properly. [Middle East, Lebanon]

Monday, March 07, 2005

Of Feminism and Fundamentalism

The Crossfader gives a shout out to Nigerian columnist, Michael Amauke with the Daily Champion, who offers of up this apologia for feminism in the face of growing fundamentalism throughout the world. It is hands down the better than anything comparable you'll come across in the "western" press. [Journalism, Nigeria, Feminism]

Saturday, March 05, 2005

A Tale of Two Blondes

Free at Last! . . . . Free at Last!

Martha Stewart walking in her "skinny jeans"; Italian journalist, Giuliana Sgrena, looking like she emerged from the world's worst day spa, sans "skinny jeans." Ms. Sgrena, mistakenly shot by U.S. forces just after she was released by her Iraqi captors. Ms. Stewart, repeatedly shot by papparazzi on her way to a private jet.

Two women, now free.
[, , ]

Friday, March 04, 2005

Sudan: We Do Genocide, Not Cancer!

The government of Sudan, perennial second fiddle to Egypt, has come out against the naming of a food dye after the country. It seems this food dye has been found to cause cancer and Sudan does not what to be associated with a carcinogen.
"We are unhappy because the name of this strange material is associated with our country, and it is known as cancerous and this is not a good thing for the name of our country," said Hassan Faraj, Sudan's Deputy High Commissioner in the UK. (BBC)
One gets the sense that Sudan's priorities are still a little, umm, off. [Sudan, Africa]

Keystone Cops, Baghdad Precinct

The US military, that fine band of sharpshooters that has felled more journalists that in any other conflict in recent memory (remember Mazen Dana), has just earned another notch in its belt. The group of Einstiens openned fire on the car carrying recently freed Italian journalist, Giuliana Sgrena, killing an Italian agent and wounding Sgrena in the shoulder. All of which will garner a collective shrug from the Americans. Ain't empire grand? [Journalism, Hostages, Italy]

Addendum: My fine readers have pointed out that the military did try to warn them before they openned fire. Of course, I would expect the brass to say that but if it's true I will retract my snarky comment. Incidentally, my girlfriend's friend still has radioctive shrapnel in her from when the military shot at the Palestine Hotel. The reason? They thought they saw someone aiming at them. I like the military but I also know they rarely admit a mistake.

Pakistan, er Rape-istan

Ah the wisdom of Pakistan where a woman can be gang raped by her local village as punishment and the village elders go free. That's what I like about "traditional" living, men get to be all gangsta in their sandals, goats and sporadic electricity. Much respect rural Pakistan. Keep pimping the game to the fullest. Don't believe all that stuff about you guys being a bunch of backward yahoos. You guys are keeping it real. [, , , ]

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Syria's Coitus Interuptus

So even the Saudis are telling Syria the jig is up. The winds of change have caught the Syrian de facto royal family somewhat flatfooted. Still content to party like it's 1999, the post-Hariri backlash against Damascus is increasingly deafening. So much so 50 cent now claims to have beef with Bashar Assad based on some alleged dis last week.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

"World" Bank?

I'm a bit confused. If only the Americans get to name who heads the World Bank, then shouldn't we call it the American Bank? [, ]

HipHop, Gangsta Again

As you no doubt know by now, Lil' Kim is on trial for perjury and 50 Cent is on the run from The Game. Damn I love hip hop. I love the fact that in hiphop you never have to grow up. It's like the espresso version of American culture. Adults get to run around like 13 year-olds, comparing bling and busting caps in various asses while serving as role models to kids who can barely read, much less point out their "hood" on a map. [, , ]